The Dreaded Playdate...to eat or not to eat?

Before I being today's post I need to post a correction on yesterday's post "Fighting the Colonel" (http://20lbstogo.blogspot.com/2010/04/does-anyone-else-out-there-find.html).  I had thought my total fat for the Double Down sandwich seemed low and a reader pointed out that I was incorrect.  I had mistakenly posted the fat content for the sandwich was 10 which allowed me to figure the point value was 11.  Well the actual fat content for the Double Down Sandwich by KFC was 32 grams of fat.  YIKES.  Clearly this is no where near 11 points - so basically I think unless I'm grossly underweight at some point and my Dr. tells me I need to pack on the lbs, I'll only be seeing that Double Down in my dreams!

Now onto today's topic, playdates.  Children's playdates are both a blessing and a curse.  Another mom and I were sitting at the picnic table at the park inches away from our kids' snacks yesterday.  She asked me how I was able to manage playdate snack time as that was difficult for her.  I replied that this strange act of self control is a VERY recent development as I'm usually the mom to go in for two or three helpings of whatever tasty baked good is being served.  I've indicated before that sweets are my particular downfall and these tend to be served at most playdates.  I try to keep my daughter's menu as healthy as I can but I see no reason why she can't enjoy treats, especially at a playdate.  

Here is a sampling of goodies over the past few playdates: Mini Chocolate Chip Muffins, Brownies, Blueberry Cake, Bagels, Pirate's Booty, and Cookies.  Reading this you may think we are the most unhealthy bunch of parents, but I do assure you most of us are pretty conscious of our kids' diets and these special treats are usually consumed in moderation and always offered with a side of fruit.  Obviously for those of us watching the waistline the easy answer is "GO FOR THE FRUIT DUMMY!"  If only it were that simple.  Those damn muffins and brownies are just so much more satisfying.  

In times past I used to watch most other moms exercise amazing self restraint during snack hour.  It would seem they spent all this time plating beautiful baked good and fruit platters and then somehow I'd see them munch on a grape here or there.  I felt like I was the only one jamming chocolate croissants into my face.  Then I'd notice I was the only one and the guilt would drive me to another and another.  I figured if I was going to be the pig of the group I might as well go down in flames (I find I use this rational anytime I go off the diet....if you are going to deviate you might as well make the best of it!).  I mean, you can't let food like that go to waste when there are starving people in the world!

I find there are a few groups of moms that I've seen at these playgroups over the years.

1.  The Perfect Mom - She serves the most lush food (as described above) baked from scratch from rare ingredients yet consumes nothing more than a cup of coffee.  She lives in athletic wear that is so classy looking you are not really sure if it's athletic wear or not.  And of course she is ready to go for a 15 mile run at a moment's notice and doesn't break a sweat in the process.  Her kids are perfect eaters as well (just the right balance of the four food groups).  They don't throw temper tantrums, read by the age of 18 months, and were born potty trained.  I hate these people (not really).

2.  The Mysteriously Skinny Mom - She has the perfect figure yet seems to consume anything and everything she wants...muffins, bagels with cream cheese, some fruit here and there, glasses of white wine with dinner.  Yet there isn't an ounce of fat on her body despite popping out three kids in four years.  I wonder - are these people secretly starving themselves all week in anticipation of playdate or a social event?  I hate these people too (OK, again, not really....as with the "Perfect Mom" I'd be right there if I could!).

3.  The Regular Mom - I put myself in this category.  Always 20 lbs away from her goal.  Finds a brownie has mysteriously ended up in the mouth without any recollection of going for the snack in the first place.  Immediately we are overcome with feelings of guilt and internally begin calculating how many sit ups it will take to burn off that morsel.  While this mental breakdown is occurring deep within the brain, our kids are falling off park equipment, throwing sand at other children, or having the meltdown of the century over an inability to share.  

When it's my turn to host or provide food I've thought about supplying only fruit of diet food.  However, I fear that not only would the kids think I am the uncoolest mom on the block, but the moms may secretly hate me too in hopes of finding a reason to enjoy a sweet here and there.  Furthermore I love to bake, and I find playdates a perfect excuse to try some yummy new recipe that will not be solely consumed by me in secrecy. I have found a lot of reduced calorie coffee cakes and baked items at http://www.cookinglight.com/.  But even with a lower calorie count to begin, you still have to find a way to exercise some self control.  And as I said earlier this has been my downfall.  

I think the answer is a combination of self restraint and smart choices.  I am paralyzed by fear that if I start with a snack I won't be able to stop myself (I noticed this over the wedding weekend...instead of one chip I found my hand darting back over and over again despite the fact I knew there was no need to keep eating the evil chips!!).  I am still not confident in the early stages of my dieting to shut myself off after just one cookie or brownie, or muffin.  For now I am on the playdate food abstinence program.  I am hoping this diet does not turn my into a neurotic food crazy person.  But for now I'm going to keep plodding along until I reach my goal and then slowly figure out how to build healthy snack habits, including enjoyment of baked goods at playdates, into my routine.

So good luck all you Regular Moms - I don't need to wish any luck on the Perfects of the Mysteriously Skinnies as they've figured it out already.  Damn them!!