On the Edge.

If this diet was the Boston Marathon, today feels like Heartbreak Hill.  You all know I'm not a runner, but the metaphor seemed appropriate seeing as thousands ran through the streets of Boston this past Monday.  I used to be inspired by these nut balls who thought running 26.2 miles was a good idea and now knowing I'll never be one of them just have to say they are sick in the head...gluttons for pain.  Obviously I'm jealous, especially when I see gramps and gran sporting those blue and yellow jackets and know they were most likely competitors not simply spectators.  

Back to my point, the urge to snack is almost overpowering today.  I don't know what it is but I am in a fight again the food.  That dreaded Easter candy is calling to me more than ever.  I had a high point meal for dinner and am left with only three points until the end of the night.  It's only 8PM which leaves me with only one small item during the three hours my butt is parked in front of prime time television.  Every advertisement on television seems to be for some delicious looking item.  I have chewed so much gum in an effort to curb my snacking desire that my jaw is sore.  If I had cigarettes I may consider taking up smoking tonight.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  I can't even blame this on PMS.  This is something all of it's own.  Seeing as I've never lasted this long on a diet, I can only chalk it up to a "mid-diet crisis."  

Coincidentally my brain also seems to have deserted me as I am having huge difficulty writing even this post.  Normally I look forward to my "work" time where I am left to my thoughts and my ability to practice my long lost craft of writing.  And today more than ever I could use my inspiration, my focus to help me through this mini breakdown in dieting.  But alas, the forces that be seem to be conspiring against me as all I can write about is the fact I want to snack and I don't want to write.  I fear after today you will all abandon reading me!  

I have a feeling I'll be dipping into that pool of flex points I normally leave in tact.  I know they are there for a reason and I know they will probably help me lose weight by allowing me to eat enough food to feel satisfied without going crazy.  Now those of you who have been impressed with my dedication and weight loss to date can see that I am in fact human and this despite possibly seeming easy is SO hard.  I wanted to be super human, immune to the pitfalls of dieting but I am about two seconds from busting into some bite sized chocolate snacks.  

So that is my not so inspiring but ever so honest post for today.  I am hoping with a good night of sleep that stronger me will return and prevail against the snack demon that has temporarily possessed my very being.  As well I hope that my creative skills decide to return so I am not left writing these notes only for myself.  Until then I hope that all you dieters out there are having better days than I with your battle against the all mighty calorie!