The long road back.

So I fell long and I fell hard last week.  I thought I could hold the damage to a day or two but as the week progressed it became obvious to me that my self control was slipping away.  By the end of Thursday I told myself this week would be a wash.  With a BBQ approaching, a missing sister, and snack food at an all time high in the house I gave up, ate, and proceeded to feel guilty.  I kept this pattern up until last night.  The good news is that I still had not returned to my prior days where if desperate enough I would actually find myself in the pantry with a spoon eating brown sugar...yes, I know, disgusting, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  I was dreading my weigh in this morning, convinced that I'd be back to my days in the 160's...all that hard torturous work undone.  Much to my delight I only gain 1 pound.  I'm back up to 158.  It's sad I'm happy with a 1 pound gain, but it could have been much worse.

So I am starting this week again fresh.  I am fighting the urge to go take down some food I know is lurking around the corner in the kitchen.  The difference today is that my sister is back (sadly not around a ton this week but just knowing she is mentally back and dieting) and our white board use has resumed.  Big mistake not using it last week!!  Secondarily the boys seem to be a bit "meated" out if that is possible.  They both had salads for lunch and are happy to have me make a "diet" dinner tonight.  Either they have no energy to cook and are happy to eat up what the ole ball and chain is serving or they have read a blog entry or two and figure they'd throw me a bone (or lack there of one!).

So with this entry I assure you I am in fact human and fell off the wagon...for a whole week.  I hope I have gotten the sweet tooth under control again.  It is also reassuring to know you can screw up and not have it be detrimental to the overall process.  It is amazingly easy to see how one week can turn into a month and then two and then a year.  Each day I messed up I felt more discouraged and less inclined to stay the course.  I know that is why I kept up my expansion plan to date!  What hit home, both in a good and bad way, is that this "dieting" is really a lifelong commitment.  That sounds terribly ominous, but it is more or less true.  On the good side, once you do all the hard work and reach the goal, you can go to a place where you can free up your eating a bit as long as you continue to monitor/check in on your weight to be sure you aren't stringing too many "bad" weeks together.  The bad side is thinking you'll be on a diet for the rest of your life!  However, I think the more positive way to view the diet is a healthier approach to eating verses a diet.  After my recent glimpse into less rigid eating, I am more eager now than ever to get to that blasted goal!!!

With a resumed commitment to my diet, I am also making a commitment to get back on track writing.  I know I have been remiss in my posting...life has been incredibly erratic of late.  However, no excuses to my dear loyal readers.  And tomorrow I will be posting a fabulous, fresh recipe perfect for summer nights!  Until then, happy healthy eating to all!